I know my stalkers follow this blog and I want them to know that at some point, if the defamatory social media accounts they’ve stopped using but have not removed, remain live, I may well have to commence legal action. So let this be notice in that regard.

Anonymity doesn’t protect you against all proceedings and changes are afoot that could trigger regulatory oversight as well. None of what has happened here is OK. I’ve yet to find a single colleague who finds the conduct even remotely within the realm of ordinary civility, professionalism or within the range of acceptable human behaviour, let alone for lawyers.

Also, the sole reason I’ve chosen not to identify the harassers by name to date is because I am embarrassed for them vicariously and concerned that I had such poor judgment as to become involved with them in the first place and somehow missed how unbalanced they were during our relationship to each other. That doesn’t mean I do not have a five point plan ready to implement the moment I decide that the defamatory content must immediately come down. That plan necessarily involves naming and shaming the perpetrators but it obviously goes further than that, to include comprehensive responses to all allegations including a demonstration of where the complaints made against me were mere projections of their own conduct.

Keep in mind as well that the anonymous accounts did not solely focus on me — one did almost exclusively but the other, at least to start, took aim at all women in the law, with a particular emphasis on younger women and racialized lawyers. All those affected have an interest in knowing who posted the content to these accounts. I mean if the idea was to get a rise out of me, while right now I don’t care enough to do it, doesn’t mean one day I won’t have had enough. As things do appear to unfold, without a definitive stop, that day may come sooner rather than later. I don’t like that nasty barrel of lies and attacks out there unanswered. So I do suggest deleting the accounts, now.

I am aware based on the stalkers’ conduct that they would try to deny their involvement in all this. On that score, I say to them …

A NOTE FOR MY STALKERS – Let Me Be CLEAR – I know this was all you and still is you

I’ve come to realize you ultimately wanted, on some level, to be caught. This is because toward the end of the era when the “anonymous” accounts were regularly operational, you let down your guard. The language of the sarcasm got looser, the cynicism escalated, the meanness wasn’t hiding behind any real humour any more. You had stopped being funny ages before that of course. But most importantly, your esoteric language patterns emerged.

Unfortunately for you, you either forgot just how well I know you, in one case for decades, and how intimately I’ve read and listened to your words for countless hours at a time. I can say without a doubt that I recognize your own unique stamp on at least two dozen of the posted communications. That’s why I gather subconsciously or consciously you wanted me to know, at least eventually, that this was you. Congratulations in that event. I didn’t want to believe it, I was willfully blind for as long as possible, but you win. Now I know and I am sure. I was sad and heart-broken, angry even, but now I’m just sure.

Also, when you’re the only person in the world entrusted with a secret, and that secret shows up in an “anonymous” social media account’s post, I’m afraid you’ve identified yourself. And when the poster indicates they heard the news from someone else, you’ve identified the second person involved in the duo doing the harassing.

I hope this helps explain how you were identified and why there’s no way around it. I have zero doubt that I know who you are for a host of reasons, but the main one is it cannot be anyone else. You miscalculated in believing I shared things about my life with others, when in fact you were the closest and most important people in my life at the time. I am sad for you because you did not understand this, apparently, but glad that your ignorance also led to your downfall.

UPDATE – May 17, 2024

Two more attempts to contact me directly and this puts us perilously close to my having to take action to prevent further harassment. I want to be clear that the idea I may be approached to collaborate or asked for professional courtesies by these people is mind-boggling. It is bizarre and delusional, quite apart from harassing.

Let’s recap:

These are lawyers whose last face to face contact with me by members of their firm was in a litigation context. A complex proceeding in which they chose to continue to represent a former client of mine, whom I had referred to them. A proceeding in which I was representing an organizational client they previously represented jointly with me, and on their own when I had referred the client to them. Also a proceeding in which cooperation and collaboration were effectively required to make the matter functional and productive of good.

They wouldn’t have been there at all if it wasn’t for me referring the work to them, when we were close and they had my trust, admiration and affection. They chose to show up a year later, in the context of all that happened in the interim, knowing apparently that this is how unprofessionally and abominably they would behave, making a very public show of their hysterics and personal animus toward me, that risked the proceeding, made them look like fools, and tried so hard to make me feel like one. Despite all that they had put me through by that point, for the sake of our mutual clients, I was prepared to behave civilly and professionally to ensure the necessary work flowed smoothly and the hearing was a success. The issues at hand were of serious public importance and the many, many parties, counsel and presiding officer, deserved respect.

And what did they do?? They showed up to that long, emotional, difficult and hugely important proceeding, with an apparently privately predetermined agenda to do this:

(a) to refuse to work together, speak or correspond professionally,

(b) refuse to facilitate the proceeding or acknowledge communications that were necessary;

and instead

(c) first real chance they got, choose in a very public way,

(d) to threaten me, attack me, in front of other lawyers,

(e) such that someone had to intervene;

(f) and force them to keep their distance and have no further contact with me during the life of that file.

Astoundingly bad judgment to expect cooperation and assistance or any professional or other contact with me after that.

To make ANY direct contact with me under these circumstances is inexcusably harassing.

I also don’t know which part of “never let me hear or see your name again” some three years back was unclear.

To speak nothing of the year long online harassment and defamation that has still not been deleted.

You want something from me? You start there. Delete those accounts.

That’s Step 1.

Step 2 a formal apology for your conduct on the litigation matter.

Step 3 acknowledge and own the harassment and defamation and apologize.

Step 4 Acknowledge the failed attempts to rattle me while I was working by logging on to the Court of Appeal’s Zoom using a former mutual client’s name to “observe”.

Step 5 Acknowledge your historical paranoia and continuing psychopathy in the gaslighting and abuse I suffered at your hands, and provide some proof that you’ve addressed it professionally. Including your follie a deux and your interpersonal toxicity that infected me and used me for collateral purposes.

And at that point, it is possible I would consider acknowledging your existence.

It’s not likely, mind, but it’s the only way I’d even turn my mind to it, if that.

Otherwise, STOP trying to engage me. I will never, ever work with you or acknowledge you.

If that’s not clear – go get help and have someone explain to you what “no contact” means.

Because your next contact, just as these last contacts, for clarity, are unwanted and now repeated.

Perhaps that will ring a bell.

I have indeed closed my account.

And I won’t be robbed again.

PS MARCH 2025

Couple of unpleasant developments:

First this month I was harassed again online, using the same platform as the 2020/2021 era. For a second I wondered if this was them, because the photo of me used this round had meaning for my original stalker and it was a bizarre choice given just how many photos of me are readily available on the internet. Now this stalker is clearly in the midst of a very acute mental breakdown, in severe crisis and rather incoherent. On balance, I conclude this is someone else unless one of the two who stalked me online previously has gone completely off the rails – which, to be fair, is possible as I do not follow what’s become of them. They could very possibly have become even more unstable over they years, but I will choose option 2 – this is a new person – I am taking it in stride this time, as it is rather less personal, therefore causes no pain.

Next:

While they appear to have disappeared from my direct sight-line, which is very welcome – ie. they’ve stopped showing up in online forums where they had previously popped up to glare at me; they’ve started playing other games, god only knows how often they tried this but a couple of efforts bore fruit.

They’ve wound up unsuspecting strangers to bring their messages home to me – little digs that could only come from them, but delivered by professionals they’d seek out who they know have contact with me. I hear the comments, I ignore them, as if they weren’t said at all. Sometimes an answer is required, I put that off with a digression or distraction.

Let me repeat.

You’re not getting a reaction, a response, activity, back from me.

Not while you’ve failed to comply with the process to get you started set out above.

And even if you send a spy to where you know I’ll be. Yes, I know you’ve done that and I don’t care.

Let me explain.